Wedding Celebrant

Writing your own Vows

by Erin Marmont | Apr 13, 2015

Step 1. Read ​other vow examples

Google has loads of great examples and so does pinterest.  Get some ideas of things you'd like to include. But remember ... vows don't HAVE to be what you think they should be.  Some of the best vows are straight from the heart!


Step 2. Agree on format and tone with your fiance.

If you're only sharing vows for the first time on the day, agree on writing similar vows.  Length is a big one, you don't want to have yours to give your partner three lines and in return they give you a full page!

Step 3. Jot down notes about your relationship.

Here's a few things to get you started .... you might not need to answer them all. 

  • What do you love about each other? 
  • Why did you decide to get married?
  • What hard times have you gone through together?
  • What have you supported each other through?
  • What challenges do you envision in your future?
  • What do you want to accomplish together?
  • What makes your relationship tick?
  • What did you think when you first saw your fiance?
  • When did you realize you were in love?
  • What do you most respect about your partner?
  • How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate?
  • What about them inspires you?
  • What do you miss most about them when you're apart?
  • What qualities do you most admire in each other?

Step 4. Come up with one or two, or many, promises.

They're called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part! A tip: "Include promises that are broad in scope, such as 'I promise to always support you,' as well as very specific to the two of you, like 'I promise to say "I love you" every night before bed'.

Step 5. Write it all out.

Now that you have notes, it's time to establish a structure and write your first draft. Perhaps writing what you love about each other is just enough ... you don't have to make rhyme or reason, it just has to make sense.

Step 6. Take out anything too cryptic or embarrassing.

In my experience, personal jokes are great ... but sometimes left at home.  You've invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words. Think about how your vows will sound to you 10 years from now.  If you're unsure have a friend / family or your Celebrant read over it before you commit to it.

Step 7. Shorten your vows to one to two minutes, max.

If you want to write more, write your bride/groom a lovely letter to read before you go to bed that night ... how romantic!

Step 8. Practice out loud

It's a great way to start preparing yourself for the most important part of the day.  Think about whether you want to repeat after your Celebrant or read off the Celebrant's Ceremony or your own cue cards.  Tip: Personalised Vows sound best when not being repeated after the Celebrant ... think about ​organising a mic so your guests can hear.

Erin Marmont Wedding Celebrant